I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
