Kiss
Puke
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
