Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Terrible idea I love it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
