Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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