So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
