Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
