My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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