Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize