When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
