i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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