the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
