I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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