Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
