Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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