"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
