I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize