one two three fourrrrnication!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
