I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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