dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
