with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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