ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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