I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
