i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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