I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
