You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
