What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
