i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
