I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
