just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
