where am i from again
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
