If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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