Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
