i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
