How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
