it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
