I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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