she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
