Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
