it wasn't lemon gatorade
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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