2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
