I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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