I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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