My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
