My nipple is on Facebook.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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