took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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