Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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