she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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