Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
