He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
