Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
