Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
