Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
